Straight Talk About Healthy Sexuality

Sex is used to sell almost every product there is, and yet conversations about healthy, respectful sexuality are hard to find. The reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act has been in jeopardy for the last few months on Capitol Hill because it dares to expand protections to immigrants, and other nontraditional populations.  And yet, a national talk show host recently repeatedly called a female law student a “slut” and a “prostitute” for using birth control. In this climate, some straight, sensible talk on this topic is important. I am grateful that this April, as we commemorate national Sexual Assault Awareness Month, the National Sexual Violence Resource Center has decided to focus on Healthy Sexuality.

Healthy sexuality speaks to sexual interactions and relationships that are consensual, respectful, and informed. Sexually healthy people express their sexuality while respecting the rights of others, and engage in sexual relationships that are consensual, non-exploitative, honest, pleasurable, and safe.  Healthy sexuality supports sexual violence prevention because it means understanding the harm we do to one another when we aren’t educated and don’t value one another.

Working at the YWCA Sexual Assault rape crisis center, we are inundated with stories of sex and sexuality that are painful, hurtful, coercive, abusive, and illegal.  In the prevention department, we work every day to create a world that is free from rape and sexual harm.

It is just as important to work towards a world where healthy sexuality is celebrated, not just by companies trying to sell something, but by all of us.

I’d like to imagine a world where a woman’s sexuality is not so intimately linked with her worth, her morality, and what we feel she “deserves.”  It’s a world where a man’s sexuality is not so intimately linked with his worth, his manliness, or his status.  In this world men and women are free to imagine their sexuality differently. Let’s create a world where our sexuality is not taboo or shameful, but an integral, amazing part of what it means to be human.

In this sexually healthy world, sexuality is an act, it is an expression, it is a fundamental part of ourselves.  We love our bodies, and the only shame that exists is the shame that belongs to those who violate the sexuality and desires of others. This month, as we continue to work for healing and peace for survivors of sexual violence, we are also imagining a better world for all of us.

Christina Meneses

Education Supervisor

YWCA St. Louis Regional Sexual Assault Center

YWCA Metro St. Louis

YWCA Celebrates National Women’s History Month in March

As head of a women’s organization, I firmly believe that it’s within our power to create a society in which wealth and power are shared and that the health and well-being of all people can drive our political, social and moral convictions.

This may be lofty idealism to some, but I believe it’s a view of our society and the world that is possible. Our YWCA mission is the elimination of racism and the empowerment of women. These, too, are lofty goals as well. But our YWCA is driven by its convictions to promote peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.

For more than 150 years, YWCA has been at the forefront of every social justice movement in America  from voting rights to pay equity and civil rights, and from violence prevention to global health. Today, the YWCA represents 2 million women, girls and their families in the United States and 25 million women worldwide. The YWCA has almost 250 associations across the United States and found in more than 100 countries. We provide services to meet the needs of women worldwide through child care, rape crisis intervention, domestic violence assistance, shelters for domestic violence victims and their families, job training, advocacy, career counseling, and entrepreneurial training for teens.

For our part locally, YWCA Metro St. Louis was founded 107 years ago and shares a storied history of championing the causes for girl’s and women’s equality and social standing. Through our local programs and initiatives, we focus on offering housing stability, economic upward mobility, assault and crisis counseling, personal, child and youth development and finding solutions to race equity issues, impacting the lives of 17,000 women, girls and their families annually.

As we celebrate national women’s history month in March, I hope we look at all women’s plight, her potential and celebrate the contributions women are making to our society. Until we can attain an ideal society and culture I dream about, let’s support women’s growth today  beginning with little girls who seek support, direction and wisdom, all the way to the mature woman who deserves our respect and may now rely on our compassion for her very comfort and security. You’re invited to engage with us for the elimination of racism and the empowerment of women.

Adrian E. Bracy is CEO of YWCA Metro St. Louis

Leader Lunch 31 A Resounding Success: Thank YOU!

Thanks to you and our sponsors, Leader Lunch 31 was a resounding success! Congratulations to our newest members of the Academy of Leaders! We had more than 1,000 attendees and raised more than $400,000 to continue our work to empower women and eliminate racism in our community. 

(St. Louis, Mo. Dec. 1) YWCA Metro St. Louis recognized on Thursday 11 area women leaders during its signature event, Leader Lunch, at the Millennium Hotel, in downtown St. Louis. Leader Lunch, in its 31^st year, is St. Louis’ premier event for recognizing the contributions of women in the workplace and the community. The achievements of eight Leaders of Distinction, a Racial Justice Leader, Future Leader and a Lifetime Achievement Award recipient were celebrated.

“Women are contributing to businesses and to our communities in ways that make our society a better place to live and work. We pause to acknowledge their achievements at Leader Lunch,” said Ann Prenatt, luncheon chairwoman and vice chancellor for human resources for Washington University in St. Louis. “We applaud this exceptional group of women who are contributing to their companies and society on many different fronts.”

Since the inception of Leader Lunch, 328 honorees have been named to the Academy of Leaders based on their leadership in the workplace, efforts to promote racial justice and to positively influence colleagues, professional women and other community members. The list of Academy members includes such notables as: Blanche Touhill, Ph.D., former chancellor of the University of Missouri-St. Louis; the late Georgia Frontiere, owner of the St. Louis Rams football team; Brenda Newberry, founder of The Newberry Group, Inc.; Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill and the late Margaret Bush-Wilson, a civil rights attorney.

The special Lifetime Achievement award, previously the President’s Award for exceptional commitment to the YWCA, has only been awarded three other times. The award was presented this year to Joy Crawford Burns, the retired chief executive officer for YWCA Metro St. Louis.

The luncheon also provided an opportunity for St. Louis businesses to recognize individual women within their own companies who are making significant contributions as Leaders in the Workplace. More than 100 women representing more than 50 companies were recognized.

The YWCA Leaders of Distinction for 2011 are as follows:

Business/Corporate Management-Mary Frontczak, vice president and assistant general counsel, Peabody Energy; Wendy J. Henry, managing partner, St. Louis & Decatur, BKD, LLP; Mary Ann Lazarus, senior vice president, firmwide director of sustainable design, HOK Group, Inc.; Michelle D. Tucker, senior vice president, corporate social responsibility market manager-Missouri, Bank of America; and Ronda F. Williams, senior corporate counsel, SAVVIS, Inc.

Entrepreneur/Business Owner–Lydia Padilla, president, TRC Staffing Services
Arts–Barbara Harbach, professor of music, UMSL
Government–Rhonda Hamm-Niebruegge, director of airport, Lambert-St. Louis International Airport

2011 YWCA Racial Justice Leader:
Jane Towater, associate national executive director, YWCA USA, retired

 2011 YWCA Future Leader:
Emma Mutrux, senior, University City High School

Lifetime Achievement Award:
Joy Crawford Burns, chief executive officer, YWCA Metro St. Louis, retired

Lead Sponsors of the luncheon are Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., Clear Channel, Emerson, Monsanto, Scottrade and Wells Fargo Advisors. For  more information about Leader Lunch and the honorees, visit www.ywcastlouis.org or the YWCA YouTube Channel- http://www.youtube.com/ywcastl.

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About YWCA:

YWCA Metro St. Louis is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering women, developing youth and eliminating racism. It focuses on race equity issues and offers transitional housing, early learning, crisis intervention, life skills training, and youth and teen development. It is celebrating 106 years of service in St. Louis and is a proud United Way of Greater St. Louis member agency.

Motivate, Inspire & Involve – Leader In the Workplace

Did you know that at Leader Lunch YWCA recognizes “Leaders in the Workplace” too? This initiative allows St. Louis area companies and organizations to recognize, motivate and cultivate their outstanding women employees and other women leaders for their contributions.

On October 19, we hosted the Academy of Leaders reception where we were able to speak with Janet Brinkmann, Manager of Securities Processing at Scottrade, about being honored as a “Leader in the Workplace.”

Q: What does it mean to be nominated as a leader in the workplace?

A: It’s very nice to be nominated, although at first I didn’t know what that meant. As the nominating committee explained to me, it is a true honor to be nominated and then elected by the executive committee. That made me realize how much of an honor it is to be awarded. There are not a whole lot of women I’m in line with now, so that’s why it’s such an honor.

Q: What are the criteria to be nominated and then awarded?

A: Some of the criteria are that you have excelled in your current job or with a specific project, you’ve moved up in the ranks of the company, or you’ve excelled in your overall career.

Q: What is your position with Scottrade?

A: I’m a manager with the securities processing team.

Q: Have you been involved with the YWCA before?

A: I have not personally, but I understand that Scottrade has been involved for at least the past six years.

Q: Now that you are involved with the YWCA, what do you think?

A: I think the YWCA’s programs are very encouraging to the youth out there and can help them improve their lives and get back on their feet. I think it’s a great organization and I’m glad to be involved.

Q: What do you think are the characteristics of a leader?

A: Someone who listens to what you have to say, cares about what you have to say, and can help make things happen for you.

Q: Are you attending Leader Lunch 2011?

A: Yes, absolutely I will be there.

Hear from Academy Leader Darcella Craven

“Persistence of Spirit” – Thoughts on the 2011 Theme from Judge Carol Jackson

“Celebrating Women Leaders and Their Persistence of Spirit” is  the theme of this year’s Leader Lunch. In its 31st year, Leader Lunch is St. Louis’ premier event for recognizing outstanding area women.

In October, we kicked off the Leader Lunch celebration with a networking reception for Academy of Leaders members and the Leader Lunch 31 honorees who will join their ranks.

These outstanding achievers had the opportunity to hear from another highly regarded woman leader. Our guest speaker was Judge Carol Jackson, a native of St. Louis. She attended St. Louis public schools, then went on to attend Wellesley College and obtained a law degree at the University of Michigan Law School.

In 1986, Jackson was appointed to the position of United States Magistrate Judge, making her the first woman to serve on the federal bench in the Eastern District of Missouri. In 1992, she was appointed as a district judge and in 2002 became the first African American to serve as chief judge of the district court.

Jackson has been a long-time supporter of the YWCA and shared her thoughts on this year’s theme “Persistence of Spirit.”

“When people find out about what I do for a living, the first thing they want to do is tease me about sending people to jail. I don’t mind being teased about it because sentencing is part of my job.  I think that if you talk to any judge they’ll tell you that sentencing is probably the worst part of the job.

What I find the more rewarding and challenging is the part of my job that allows me to work with people after they have been released from prison. Our court has a number of re-entry programs that we’ve developed over the years that are designed to help people as they return to society. I’ve had the privilege in the last seven years or so to work with two of those programs. Our employment program, which helps people find employment, and our re-entry court, which some people refer to as the drug court, for people who have long-term alcohol and drug addictions. I can’t think of any part of my work that gives me more professional satisfaction.

The people are from throughout the St. Louis area, they come from all different walks of life. There are women, there are men – black, white, Hispanic – and each week I bear witness to ‘Persistence of Spirit’ in people who have more reasons to fail then they have to succeed, but they achieve their goals.

 These are girls who have never imagined the things they could achieve, things we all take for granted. Things like getting a GED, opening a bank account, or reconnecting with their children. They do these things because someone has told them that they can do it, someone who had more faith in them then they had in themselves. They endure in the face of insurmountable odds – drug addiction, lack of education, even to the point of illiteracy – but they desperately want to change their lives, and they don’t give up. I never cease to be amazed at the ability of the human spirit to transcend the challenges that life presents.

‘Persistence of Spirit’ depends on individuals and organizations like YWCA who are willing to give support to those in need. I have tremendous admiration and respect for the YWCA because this is an organization that works so hard to help women realize they can control their destinies, and it encourages them to use their talents and their abilities, and express their creativity, without limitation. I can’t think of any work that is more important than that.”

 - comments from Judge Jackson’s speech during the YWCA Metro St. Louis Academy of Leaders reception, October 19, 2011

Meet Our Leader Lunch Honorees

Every year the YWCA recognizes outstanding women in the St. Louis community by inducting them into the “Academy of Leaders” at our annual Leader Lunch. Since 1979, over 300 extraordinary women leaders have been honored in the areas of “Leaders of Distinction,” “Racial Justice,” “Future Leader,” and “Lifetime Achievement.” The year 2011 marks the 31^st annual YWCA Leader Lunch in St. Louis. Click the honorees’ picture to learn more about her accomplishments in the community. Check back here for a more in depth look at this years’ honorees.

We are proud to present the following Leader Lunch 31 Honorees.

See a complete list of the Leaders Academy honorees here.

Celebrate With Us at the 31st Annual Leader Lunch!

Support YWCA Metro St. Louis by celebrating some outstanding women in the St. Louis community at this year’s Leader Lunch 31.

Join over 1,000 other business women and men, to enjoy inspiring presenters, a delicious lunch and enter to win some fabulous prizes! Your participation will help support the YWCA Metro St. Louis in providing programs to eliminate racism, empower women and promote peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.

WHAT: Leader Lunch 31

WHEN: Thursday, December 1, 2011

WHERE: Millennium Hotel St. Louis

Online registration and additional information are available at www.ywca.org/LeaderLunch31.

During the Leader Lunch the YWCA Metro St. Louis will recognize eight Leaders of Distinction. These are women who have made extraordinary contributions to their organizations, the community and empowering other women.  We will also honor a Racial Justice Leader, a Lifetime Achievement Awardee and a Future Leader, an area high school senior.

Learn more about how you can support YWCA Metro St. Louis by attending the 2011 Leader Lunch at http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=8eIFLNMzC&b=62563.

The Help

The Help.

The Help

The Help enjoyed a successful second-place showing at the Box Office this weekend. A-list actors appear in the movie. There is a villain to dislike and a young courageous woman who defied law and common customs of the time. The Help, however, is not a portrayal or a movement for racial equity or humanity.  The movie, based on Kathryn Stockett’s novel, reveals sexist and racialized themes that bear critical analysis. More importantly, there’s a potential racialized harm that may come simply by reading the book or watching the movie. A platform this innocuous and far-reaching is alarming to me.

Skeeter’s Hair- a Form of Liberation and Resistance.

Note the visual message that is created around Skeeter, the main character and seemingly the hero. Not only is her hair a different color, it is also curly, not straight like the other women. This signifies the “otherness” some whites may feel when advocating for people of color.  It may also signify her liberal spirit and resistance to institutionalized sexism and racism. Or it may signify the distancing or alienation that other whites may fear if they do advocate for people of color.

She is educated and unmarried. This metaphorically highlights present day fears some teenagers and women have of being too smart and not pretty enough, thus reducing their chances for marriage or a stable relationship. There is a makeover in the movie that transforms her image in order for her to “get a man.” He, of course, cannot stay with her because she is too liberal and head strong.

Interest Convergence

Although intended to be the hero, Skeeter’s character depicts an iconic (or near perfect) personification of Derrick Bell’s “interest convergence” theory: White people will advocate or support the movement around racial justice only if there is a benefit to them, the WIFM (What’s In It for Me) syndrome.  If there is no benefit to the majority or the white person, then there is no longer an interest. (Source: Brophy 2008).  Let’s be clear: Skeeter uses these black maids and endangers their lives in order to obtain a big job in New York.  A job that, without these women’s stories, may never be hers.  Albeit, this is patterned after the white privilege she receives landing her first job in which she is clearly not qualified for but gets anyway. She then uses the maids to answer the home cleaning questions she is being paid to write about for the local newspaper.

The Silent Racist

Often there is a character that is portrayed as racist or bad white person. In this case, the character is Hilly.  Her characterization normalizes the institutionalized racist attitudes of everyone else, including Skeeter and her family.  In the South and in the Midwest, it is common then and now to refer to people who work in your home as “yours.”  As if now these people of color “belong” to you and your family.  Hilly isn’t the only villain in the movie, all the white women who are silent about the racialized harm being inflicted upon these women of color are also racist.

From the 1620s to the 1860s, African slaves were forced to work in the homes of white owners. When slavery was abolished, domestic work largely became “black women’s work” until waves of female immigrants flooded into the United States looking for employment. According to a 2006 survey by Domestic Workers United, 95 percent of domestic workers in New York State are people of color, 93 percent are women and 99 percent are foreign-born. However, 77 percent of their employers are white (Source: Domestic Workers Demand Fair Labor Laws, Lee, 4/25/08)

Racism Then and Now

Domestic workers are still fighting for equal pay, benefits and treatment.  The Help isn’t a cute movie about the past.  Racism is alive and well in the United States and domestic workers or “the help” still feel the impact of systemic exclusion from fair labor laws and equity.

The movie begins and ends with a black maid telling a white child in Ebonics that she “is smart, is kind and is important.” It is wonderful how black people have been so loving to white children and families despite unfair treatment.  However, at what point do we as a community of black and white people say no more?  No more movies or images portraying whites as good and the saviors or voices of blacks. If there hadn’t been the Jim Crow laws that in many ways still exist, black women could have inherited their own land, written their own stories, supported their sons and daughter in other professions outside of domestic labor and been hired by the big and important New York book editor.

White and black’s alike should see the deeper implications in The Help. What the movie didn’t adequately portray is that black people didn’t have a choice but to do domestic work. They and their families were invisible human beings and were helped only when it helped the white person who ultimately benefitted more.  The Help is a great opportunity for greater racial dialogue.

Amy Hunter is director of Racial Justice for YWCA Metro St. Louis.

YWCA Metro St. Louis is dedicated to eliminating racism, empowering women and promoting peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all. For more information, visit www.ywcastlouis.org